Words From The Dam

For You and Little Boy Blue

2011-01-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

Riding that same old train
500 miles of twisted track
Those familiar station stops
Where your name is on every sign

I can taste the rum on my lips
The scotch and the vodka too
Those simple sweet poisons
That get me through the day
The week
The month

The pills I take
The drinks I make
For addiction's sake
And for you

And little boy blue.

The World Ends In a Yes

2010-11-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

Stumble step in an alcohol spin
Heart shatter smile, shake your hair
Eyes cast down, arms raised up you dance in place
Little giggles and sidestep fancies
Shared glances and stolen kisses
The world ends in a yes

That Moment of Thunder

2009-12-24T01:56:00.000-08:00

It is then that I think of you
That moment of thunder
The one that is not a rumble
Not a roll
Not a
BOOM

When the charge lets go right there
Ozone in the air
Small hairs on the rise
That thunderous exlposive
CRACK

It is that sound
That is the sound of your name
That small nuclear hell of a moment
That's where you live in my memory
A brilliant flash of
Perfect Violence

Coldest Night Since

2009-12-05T03:05:00.000-08:00

Tiny smiles unseen with hands reaching out

Wondering what the name of man is

Dropped broken forgotten in the mud

Is a word unspoken in your world or mine

A taste of something future past present

On the wind in the blank spaces between

I drift lazily twisting tumbling heavily

On the tide of memory questing questioning

Finding only the smallest dram or

Quietest portion answering in untrue form

Regret of the smooth cool touch of your laugh

On the hairs of my skin taunting

Smiles sliding through my insides

The bitter flavor of your name on my tongue

Yellow bilious chalk swirling in the drain

Trying

2008-02-01T06:03:00.000-08:00

A still image photograph
In a painted eye
Sepia tone slide show haze
Graphite scrawls
A page of words
With corners on them

Sharp edged vowels can cut

Tabletop crawls
With a blurred vision of you
Sketchpads and smiles
Articulate utensils
Speaking in smudges

And lines

Shaky hands now
Withered hearing
And the lines just won't talk to me
Like they did before

Parents arguing in another room

I'm trying to listen
But I can't
Make out
The words

A Task Undone

2007-03-01T18:32:00.000-08:00

Totalitarian schemes
Machiavellian dreams
A turn of the screw
Brings us to you
Children no more

From nursery rhymes
To battle hymns
We come bearing standards
Of battle and of living
Our lives our way

Take us
Leave us
Love us
Hate us
Accept us
Reject us
Welcome us
Or just turn around
And go straight to hell

The Girl

2007-02-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

Nursery rhymes
And little girl smiles
Messy hair
All a tangle

Stuffy noses
Stubbed toeses
A gap toothed grin
Tooth fairy time

She moves me to anger
Moves me to joy
Will move me to terror
When she brings home a boy

Little girl hands
Little girl knees
Covered in scrapes
Playing is hard work

I miss her laughter
I miss her hugs
I miss her playtime bathtime bedtime

I miss her

Tumbledown

2007-02-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

Tumbledown life and times
We got the 21st century blues
Crawling on out
Sliding on in
We gonna jump and jive
To the electric pulse
Of the world
Thrumming at our greedy
Little fingertips
With blue-white sparks
Popping from our electrode eyes

Information age
Traffic rage
The whole damn country's a gilded cage
And we keep singing our song
Going along
To the drumbeats of the
Tumbledown life and times

Untitled

2007-02-01T12:28:00.000-08:00

Runaway
Castaway
Pushed
Pulled
Prodded
A problem born
Roustabout love

A wandering eye
~Mind
Spirit
Travel shoes
Walking Blues
Hitcher's lament
Gleam
Grin
Jump
Spin
Sixteen Again

A little red Button
With thunderbird eyes.

30 Hours Till Now

2007-01-22T01:23:00.000-08:00

It's never now
Only soon
It's never now
Only then
It's never now
Only someday
Maybe
If you're good

It's wishes never granted
It's prayers never answered
It's dreams never fulfilled
It's promises never kept.
It's a half ass job
With a lantern hung on it

Seeds unplanted
Crops unreaped
Playgrounds during rainstorms
An insomniac without sleep
Words unspoken
And video game tokens
Rattling in a drawer

Opportunity
Possibility
Potentiality

August 1994

2007-01-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

Burning into the night
A blazing ball of
Utter chaos
No promise of rest
No time to assuage
The need for sleep
The green-eyed girl
Promises love
In the afternoon rain
How to receive love
In the dark of night
Immortal
Together
At one with all creation
Free
No limits
Exaltation
Can we deny emotion?
Creatures lurking
Inside a padlocked mind
Reaching into unconscious fury
To behold a divine revelation
No moon shines this night
Beating your head on black lacquer
With no one to turn to
A cold and empty bed
Promises loneliness
Instead of sleep
Lying awake in the early morning
Making sure the sun comes up
Heightened senses
Electrify the brain
And her name appears in the darkness
Prefer a quiet grave
To the monstrous voices
Of the past
I feel a change in the air
Good or bad
It's all the same really
The faces change
But the story remains
She's trying to see me
But I stay hidden
Did you know that love exists
In a word?
Dancing in circles
Tears of madness in my eyes
Calling the dead for the dance
Slavery of oneself is
The ultimate sin
How can you know
The mind of a god?
Possessed of a demon
Writhing and shaking
Crawl across the floor
Is there a right time for anything?
Anytime is the right time
Sight of mind
Beyond redemption
I love you
Come with me
No limits
Run
Called a god
Then shunned
For taking myself too seriously
Walk with me awhile
Don't worry, I know the way
To the kingdom
Did you see the body?
- Suicide?
Yeah, damn shame.
-Maybe he was sick of all the games
Maybe
Break down the barriers
Stare into the infinite
Lose yourself
Go insane
Madness is very liberating
Can you love me?
It's easy to love me
I can't
The wind of
The changing seasons
Calls to my heart
Been here too long
Gonna explode
Waiting makes time stand still
Can you smell the rain?
Wet concrete
A black leather
And chrome monster
Shuffles into the night
Where is the joy we were promised?
Where is the happiness?
Dead in the womb
of Reason
I know all the answers
Just none of the questions

Walking disparagingly
Through life
Envious of the dead
Hypocrisy knows no bounds

It's Tennesee All Over Again

2007-01-17T20:12:00.000-08:00

Cranked up music
Blasting in my ears
Making me deaf
Making me weep
I'malong
screaming
With the words
At the top of my lungs

Locked away and forgotten
Spend the days in a cell
Of my own design
Waking moments
Blurry and dreamlike
No sleep till madness
Listening to the earth
Spin on it's axis

All my favorite foods
taste of ash and rot
The canned laughter
From the TV my only company
It's flickering light
My only friend
Can't stay here forever

I'm a clown, you dig?
Painted smile
To cheer the world
Covering a mouth
Made only for the sound of
s
c
r
e
a
m
i
n
g
Screaming
And it's always
Your name

River Walk

2007-01-16T12:36:00.001-08:00

trees
swaying in a summer breeze
and butterflies
twittering past the playground
flowers
with bees
pollen crinkles your nose
makes you sneeze
winds
blowing through your hair
making me sweat
singing songs
whispering secrets
dipped in sunshine and rain
a river walk, a button, and a buckwheat dog

Guilt

2007-01-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

Disgrace shame sin
A dozen years of penance
A single malefic act
Made in your name
Without your consent
Without your knowledge
Ultimatly driving me
d
o
w
n
Into febrile despair.

Attritional
Penitent
Contrite
Compunctious
I'm sorry

Sorrow words and sorrow voice
A little boy smile
Not quite enough
to assuage the wound

Baby bathwater and me
Throw it all out
Simplify
Simplify
Simplify
A complication a solution
A direction a destination
Beginning or end
Salvation
Destruction
AnnihilationBurnt black
and twisted

The tears of yesterday
Washed away
By the tears of tomorrow

Maybe Robert

2007-01-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hail Eris!
10 minutes to 5
5 plus 5
Maybe 10
No is but a maybe
Guns and dope
All the ostriches
May be tsars
And the grass
May not be greener
Unless we agree
It may be

All Hail Discordia!
1-11-07
1 plus 1 plus 1 plus 7 maybe 10
5 plus 5 maybe ten
Law of 5's
Directly or indirectly
It's all related
Maybe
Maybe not
But maybe, Baby
Robert knew the score
Just like Emperor Norton
Or Charlie Fort
And then
Holy 23, Batman,
He's gone and gone
And you and me are left
To puzzle it out and get RAW
On our own.
Maybe.

Your Room

2007-01-10T13:28:00.000-08:00

Floating in a pool
Of whiskey magic
I see you
You see....
...What?
Me?
Do you see me
When you close
Your eyes?
I see you...
...Sometimes
Stephen King and a
Dark
Warm
Room

An Evening at Taco Bell

2007-01-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

Spring Wind
A sad

Solemn face
Beauty blinking
A walk in the park
Whirling blindly
On the lawn
I miss your face
Fingers
Intertwined with mine
A fast food I love you

I love you
Love you
You

Love

I Love My Girls

2007-01-10T01:19:00.001-08:00

One of them loves me now
One just loves my ghost
One just has a memory
That she loves the most

One, she loved me too much
One not quite enough
I flat just ran out on One
When things got too rough

One of them, she loved a friend
Before she ever did love me
And One, she was my first love
the truest there can be

One of them never loved me
And One I never kissed
One of them that's all we did
But it was a chance I didn't miss

One of them I drove away
One of them drove me
One of them watched me drive
Then left me for the sea

Sometimes I cheated, sometimes I lied
But I gave my love for free
So it is that most of them
Are still in love with dusty, broken me.

Box of Rain

2007-01-10T01:08:00.000-08:00

Box of Rain and thunder rolling
warm and safe

in a cozy bed built for two

as the raindrops come down
one hits you on the forehead

dead center

it's all so deliciously funny
we giggle out loud

put our heads under the covers

and think damp thoughts
about damp things

in the dark

while hands roam and grab
and more giggles
then sighs

then something else entirely

and the water on your forehead
isn't rain anymore

but a glisten

because you would never sweat
not you
not even in

the heat of the moment

and that's ok by me, Babydoll
I don't mind a bit
I'll do all the sweating

if that's what makes you happy.

a whisper in the dark

2007-01-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

We stand in shadow
And in secret
Watch the world go on around us
Huddled together
Seeking shelter in a moment in time

Far off names
And far off faces
Recall themselves
In nearby places
And a whisper in the dark is all I get
When you say good night

Not for this heart
Not for thine
In a moment of pressure
May we choose the course of our own lives

We dream it
We cannot be it
Denied our happiness
Even as we rejoice
In each other

Let's Get Drunk

2006-12-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

I need Beer
Lots and lots of beer
Insane quantities of the stuff
Let's get drunk
and play ping-pong on any table we can find.

Let's throw down
And throw up
And throw out
Our notions
Of sanity

Let's get drunk
And try to raise a god
Or bring one down
I'll let you choose which
They're all pretty much the same

Let's get drunk and
Make out on the back patio
Where the neighbors can see
Make em jealous
Make em wet

Let's get drunk and
Try to walk a line
Try to touch our nose
Try to not see double
Two of you would be just fine

Let's get drunk
Let's get naked
Let's howl at the moon
And if the police come
We'll howl at them too

Broken

2006-12-31T01:45:00.000-08:00

Torn and tattered
the beat of
an irregular staccato
on calcium walls

In the time before time
In the perpetual then
I was the dream
The belief and the idea

Now I am the ghost
Of the phantom
Of the dream
And a price must be paid

The price for pain
For weeping
For sorrow's secret heart
In the dead of night

I am the past
And I haunt you
When you close your eyes
When you try not to think

But that's all that I am
Your specter
The spook that haunts
Your Scooby Doo nightmare

That's all that I am
And I can hurt you no more.

It's All Copper Wire and Soot

2006-12-29T20:40:00.000-08:00

It's all copper wire
And soot
The machinery is broken
The cogs won't move and
All the panels are battered
and burned

There's human remains
Skeletons of friends
Memories
The ghosts of the past
A little boy smile and
Little girl hair

And there's no more
of interest
Besides a name on the wall
A name written with sorrow
in pain
Written in anger with hasty strokes

A name that has power
A name scribed in ash
A name that calls me
A name won and lost
and left to stand in the dark

But I can't pronounce it
I can't remember how
It's sound has been lost
burned up
like everything else

Only a skeleton
of it's meaning remains
And I'm trying to read it
But I'm lost
and so are you

In this burned out place

It's Raining Here

2006-07-17T23:04:00.000-07:00

Slivered streaks of rain
Spattered on my window
Running away
With a week's worth of dirt

The road wavers
Ashphalt liquid
The air smells of honeysuckle vine
And overripe melon

This is Texas, Man
Redneck rainforest
Loud trucks and big guns
And all the best radio stations
are Latino

This is the Way My Mind Works

2006-05-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

In a flash of light
A naked girl
Caresses her breast
With the edge of a sword

Dandelions devour the living
In a field
Of ebon grass
On the edge of town

An ochre sky
Rains yak teeth
On the straw cottage
Where the lizard man lives

The sequiened king
Rests on his throne
And watches it all
In a pool of whiskey magic.

White

2006-05-13T00:15:00.000-07:00

Slips of paper
And hourglass sands

She didn't know
And I couldn't tell her
Because
I didn't
Know the words

She's out of the Green
And into the White.

mud and bone

2006-05-04T20:53:00.000-07:00

Some days I'm made
Of mud and bone
Head hung low
On a chickenwire throne
And there's ash
And there's smoke
And I know I'm not alone
But some days

That's not how it feels

I am connected

2006-05-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

I am connected
To you
To him
To all of you

The World

If I stop
Close my eyes
and wait
I can feel you all

It's spinning

What you're doing
Where you're going
I touch you
A thousand miles away

So fast.

Do you love me?

2006-05-04T00:13:00.000-07:00

Do you love me?
The shape of my laugh
The spark in my eye
Do you listen for my voice
In a crowd?

Do you hear my name
And wonder where I am?
Standing in a line
Or watching infomercials
on television?

Do you dream of me
In the dead of night?
And if you do
Do you wake up
Screaming?

3AM in Chicago

2006-05-03T12:19:00.000-07:00

Skull full of whiskey magic
The city shakes it's fists
And pulses in time
With the veins in my head.

Dead bird in the gutter
Worms crawl in its eye

The night is rusted
And tastes like ash and wet rubber
The hooker on the corner
Turns away when she sees

Neon puddles of green and red
Steam from the manholes
There's blood on my face
And I don't know why or whose
But I think
It may be
Yours.

You think you know

2006-05-03T12:18:00.000-07:00

You think you know
But you don't

You think you see
But you don't

Inside it's all black
Blood red crimson
With splashes of chromium steel
And the twisting squeak of leather
And sometimes I think
sometimes I'm almost sure
sometimes I know
That I'm not quite
sane

And maybe you know about that
And maybe you see that
And maybe despite that
You love me.

You're reasons seem
Inscrutable
To me
Yet there it is, and there you are
Open
Patient
Waiting for the black to fade
So the warm blue-green of you
Can cover me whole.

(If I'll let it)

Am Not

2006-05-02T13:45:00.000-07:00

I'm no coffeehouse poet
Delusions of Ginsberg
And Warhol dreams
Pretentions affectations

Counting meter and rhymes

No cappuchino tall
Or venti latte
I'm whiskey and cigarettes
Grime and dirt

Black snow in the gutter.

I'm knives hidden in pockets
Long fingernails and scars.
Ponytail hair and black leather chrome

Tequila in a border town.

Blood on the floor
and in my eyes
A sawdust honky tonk

The tamale girls know me